Thursday, January 21, 2016

Midshipmen

Now, in the last year of the eight year 'Reign of Enlightened Socialist Truth’, Glorious Benevolent Imperial Maximum Dear Leader and the compliant servile DoD PowerPoint apparatchiks have concluded that the language, nomenclature, lexicon, titles and traditions used in the military are an anathema to Progressive Progress (also known as Прогрессивная Прогресс).  

Therefore, the services are under strict orders to enact Gleichschaltung across the military, and scour the language of non-compliant instances where there exists white supremacist cis-hetero-patriarchal imperialistic oppression, endemic in US society.  

The venerable term, Midshipman, in use since the 1600’s, is a wretched anachronism which harbors everything wrong with America.  The mere existence of the term Midshipman is a blight on the US Naval Service, and has been identified as derogatory to female service personnel (we can also no longer call these people "service members" as this term has phallic connotations, and is therefore a virtual-pejorative).

Further, non-white and LGBTTQQFAGPBDSM service personnel see the oppression of the male-gender-normative titles and nomenclature, and are therefore in-turn "vicariously oppressed" (in sympathy), and thus this also interferes with their ability to self-actualize and professionally achieve in a diverse and inclusive work and social environment.  

The search for an androgynous replacement to the retrograde title ‘Midshipman' is now underway.  So, what are we to call Midshipmen now?  

Omnes Alienus? 

Gustatus Similis Pullus? 

I invite you to comment.  

1 comment:

Ecks Enn said...

Students of Naval Science = SONS. No that won't work, too male-centric. Maybe SONS & Bitches? Or "Gender Unspecified Students of Naval Science" = GUSONS.

Of course, The USCG boot camp had "Trainees Undergoing Recruit Discipline" = TURDs. I'm sure that was found to be way too hurtful and offensive years ago.